just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
