By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
