another moral hangover. fuck.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Randomize
