Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
