she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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