: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
