Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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