Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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