I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize