You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
