Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
