Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
