she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
