so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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