brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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