You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
