she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
