Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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