whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
