I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
