I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
