In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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