I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
