oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
