Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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