well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
