did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
