I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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