I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
