i think i have herpe
just one?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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