ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
