One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
