Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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