I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Non-Jews are for practice
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
