Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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