Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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