Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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