shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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