Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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