ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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