none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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