i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
