I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
