I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
