READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
