So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
