So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
