I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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