I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
