question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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