i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
