2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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